Not much playing over the Thanksgiving holiday that looked worth seeing at the Ormond Beach multiplex, so by process of elimination Mom and I went to see "New Moon," the second film in the Twilight series. I had seen the first and found it modestly enjoyable. I've never read any of the books, so what follows comes from somebody to whom the story is entirely new.
OK, so there are these high school students who hang with each other and it turns out one is a member of a vampire family that has foresworn human blood as a nutrient. How they get away with this is unclear to me, since my understanding from the old Dracula films was that vampires can't come out during the day and need human blood to survive. So, anyway, this high school student named Bella is all moon-eyed over Edward the skinny vampire with the permanently-bored look on his face. At the end of the first episode there was some wild violence that convinced Edward it was best for Bella that he buzz off, so at the beginning of the film after some mooning about together Edward buzzes off, leaving Bella (who lives with her Dad, Charlie, the only normal character in the film it seems) stranded in the Pacific Northwest without a boyfriend, a fate worse than death for any high school girl. For solace she latches on to this solitary long-haired American Indian type, Jacob, who was another skinny kid in the first film but suddenly grew up to become Mr. Muscles and who has always carried a torch for Bella anyway. She seduces him by bringing him two beat-up rejected motorcycles to repair. He repairs them like a pro, shows off his muscles, and shows her the other boys he sometimes "runs" with, who entertain themselves by jumping off cliffs into the ocean from great heights. Oh, I forgot to mention, every time Bella finds herself in a situation where prudence says she should retreat, a ghostly image of Edward materializes before her, telling her to retreat, but she always goes right ahead -- because tempting fate is the only way to make the ghost of Edward appear to her. So, back to the shirtless boys - oh, did I mention that Jacob and his crowd run around shirtless, showing off the fact that they all lack body hair and work out like crazy, but none so much as Mr. Muscle Jacob. It turns out that Jake and his friends are all really werewolves who are out to hunt vampires.... honestly, after this, I can't continue this plot summary, only to point out that since the Twilight series will eventually run to 4 or more films, this one obviously has to end with all the main characters still "alive" in some sense - if you call vampire life living, and that it seems like Bella is on the verge of becoming.... no, I won't say whether she decides to go with the vamps or the wolves.... Readers of the books know how it continues and why spoil it for everybody else? Find out for yourself.
OK, so the film is crazy, but it is also compulsively entertaining, even the slow bits, and although Robert Pattinson seems to be sleep-walking through the role of Edward, maybe that's consistent with the character, who is supposed to be among the barely-living dead. Kristen Stewart as Bella is appropriately love-sick and inarticulate throughout the film. Young Taylor Lautner, Mr. Muscles, carries the film on his broad shoulders. He is undoubtedly the reason why this is such a hit with teenage girls and gay men. Everybody wants to surrender to the big, bad wolf -- at least, in his shirtless, hairless, muscle phases. And Billy Burke as Charlie, the bewildered Dad, is his dependable self. Chris Weitz, the director, is great at keeping things moving along. I don't think this is a masterpiece deserving of the extraordinary opening weekend it enjoyed, and I wonder whether there will be a sharp falling off of business now that the hyped opening has occurred... but it has already made tons of dough, so there will be more sequels. Can Mr. Lautner keep up the gym routine? Can he get any bigger? These are the questions agitating all fans of the series, I'm sure.